Tired of reading? Listen instead!

by Meghan

You may think that you know a lot about your partner, but let’s face it – there are certain things you have never talked to them about.

When couples are in the ‘honeymoon phase’ and everything is going great, they are often afraid to ruin it. They avoid asking the important questions, because they don’t want to scare off their partners by getting too serious. Share on X

But once you start thinking about getting married, it is essential that you know where your partner stands on certain issues.

Because what you don’t know about your partner may hurt you later on.

It may even break up the marriage. And since no one gets married with the intention of getting divorced, you might want to settle these issues before saying “I Do”.

So, here are 10 questions you should ask your partner before getting married.

1. Friends and Family

• How much you respect my family and friends? 
• Do you have any issues with them? 
• Are you OK with spending time with them around the Holidays or on vacation? 
• Is it okay if I want to go on a trip alone with my friends or family? 
• Are you willing to take care of my parents if they get sick? 
• If we need to at some point, can you live in my family home with my parents? 
• How much time are we willing to give to our friends after marriage?

2. Children

• Do you want kids and how many? 
• Will you take care of them? 
• Are you willing to play diaper duty role? 
• Who stays home with them when they get sick? 
• What do you expect that a mother or father should be? 
• How will you raise them? 
• Do you want to stay at home with them while they are small, or go back to work?

3. Finances

• Are you in any debt? 
• Is your debt going to be my debt? 
• What are your current savings? 
• Will we have a joint savings account or not? 
• What are your general spending habits? 
• How will we manage our finances once we are married? 
• Will we have joint finances, or separate? 
• Who pays for what? 
• How will we spend our money? 
• Should we sign a prenup agreement beforehand?

4. Sex life

• How important is sex to you? 
• What do you expect from our sex life? 
• Do you watch pornography? 
• Will you be faithful? 
• Do you want a committed marriage or open?​

5. Respect

• Do you respect me? 
• Do you respect my personal space?
• I believe in setting some ground rules, will you respect them? 
• Do you have any doubts about what these rules are and how to live with them? 
• Do you recognize my beliefs, perceptions, decisions and philosophies?

6. Religion

• How important is religion to you? 
• How will you celebrate your religious holidays? 
• Do you respect my views? 
• Do you want me to convert after marriage? 
• What will you teach our children?

7. Career choices

• Are you willing to relocate to another city if I’m offered a better job somewhere else? 
• What are your future career plans? 
• Do you switch jobs frequently? If yes, then why? 
• How serious are you about your career?

8. Commitment

• How committed are you in this relationship? 
• Are you willing to make sacrifices to keep this marriage intact? 
• Is a lasting marriage your ultimate goal? 
• Can you you make compromises on things you never have compromised on before? 
• When problems arise, will you commit to working through it to resolve our differences?

9. Labour Division

• Will you do the cleaning, cooking and other chores around the house? 
• Do you want to stay at home to raise the kids while I go to work? 
• Do you want us to take an equal share of the workload both inside and outside the home?

10. Problem Solving

• If you have a problem with me, will you be honest and talk to me about it? 
• How are you going to behave during an argument? 
• When we disagree on something, how will we resolve it? 
• What should we do if we can’t agree? 
• How do you feel about counseling?

It’s okay to have little arguments, fights and conflicts because they are all part of a healthy relationship. But what you should be aware of are the habits, beliefs, expectations and personality traits of your partner that might not be a good match to yours. These could signal difficult times ahead.

So, if you are planning to get married, ask these questions first. 
That way you can avoid nasty surprises.

​Best of luck with your relationship!