by Merlyn Gabriel Miller

Did you know that there was a surefire way to heal a toxic relationship?
Something that is so easy to do, and yet very few make the jump?

The solution is obvious, but I can’t guarantee that you’ll like it.

But here it is:

LEAVE

You see, you cannot have a toxic relationship all by yourself. It requires two people to hold that unhealthy dynamic in place.

If you are putting a pen against the wall, you have to use your hand to hold it in place. The pen represents the relationship, and the wall is the other person. You can ask the wall to move, but chances are it won’t budge. So, you have to let go.

Sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves, and the other person – is to leave. Because, as long as we hold on to the toxic relationship, neither of us can get better. Share on X

Toxic People And Toxic Relationships

It could be that the person you are with is toxic. Maybe they are insanely jealous, try to sabotage your success, cheat and lie all the time, manipulate you, or constantly put you down.

People like that will not change, no matter how much you want them to. That is because they lack the incentive to do so.

Sure, you can threaten to leave. And maybe get about 2 weeks of the “all new and improved version” of your partner. But that’s about as long as it will last. Because, as long as you stay, they have no reason to change their toxic behaviour.

So, the only thing you can do – is leave and stay away. Do not return to these people. It will only allow them to continue the abuse. Even if they have promised you otherwise.

And if you are afraid that they might try to hurt you, take precautions. Ask a trusted friend for help.

It could be help packing and moving, getting a new phone number and social media accounts, or a new job.

And make sure your friends and family know that you have cut all contact, and that they should not reveal your new location or other info to your ex.

But not all toxic relationships are due to toxic people.

Sometimes we find partners that trigger us, and reopen our old wounds, in ways we have never experienced before. This can set off a spiral of negativity which is very hard to get out of. Share on X

You could find a partner that subconsciously reminds you of your alcoholic father, or emotionally distant mother. And although they are fantastic people, and have done absolutely nothing wrong, you still don’t feel comfortable around them. In this sense, they are toxic to you.

If you suspect that something like that is going on in your relationship, take a break to work on yourself.

Maybe your partner will be waiting for you, maybe not. Either way, you need to heal this issue to keep it from ruining your future relationships.

How To Heal

Healing from a toxic relationship, is usually easier than healing from a relationship with a toxic abuser. These issues may have to be handled differently. Although therapy would be beneficial in both cases.

People who have suffered abuse need to work on their self-esteem and self-confidence, since these things are often the first to get destroyed by toxic people. Share on X

Because as long as you don’t trust or value yourself, you are an easy target to manipulate, which is what they want.

Working on reversing this damage can take some time. And if you are blaming yourself or feeling bitter, it could be a sign that you still have more healing to do.

If you find yourself repeating unhealthy patterns in your partnerships, you’ll need to focus on finding the root cause of these issues and resolving them.

Otherwise, every partner you find, no matter how great, will still lead you to having a toxic relationship. That is because you are bringing the poison with you.

Now, we all have a past. Every human being comes with luggage. The problem arises when the load is too heavy to carry, and spills over into our relationships. This is why it is important that you work on yourself.

Heal the broken relationships of the past, in order to have better relationships in the future. Share on X