by Max

Many people all over the world think that the number one reason behind their constant breakup with their lovers is because of luck. That they are unlucky or not worthy to be loved.

But the real thing is that they aim to settle very early in their relationship. Without considering whether their partner is worthy to settle with for the long run or not.

So, if you just happen to be one of those people who doesn’t seem to find the right soulmate, make sure to read this article till the end and give the below tips a try.

Because today I am going to show you how to avoid falling for the wrong person again and how to choose your partner wisely from now on.

Without any further ado, let’s get right into it.

Loneliness And The Fear Of It

A lot of people find themselves dating the wrong person just because they feel bad being alone, or they simply fear the word “single”.  Share on X

For them, being single means that they are “ugly”, “not worth it”, “incapable” or “awkward”.

“When you think of “single” as a dirty word, you’re prone to date people you should stay clear of”  – Elisabeth J. LaMotte

This is why you find so many people racing to fit into the world by trying to mingle with literally every single person that comes their way. Even if the person is worse than them. And the result is a world record as the fastest breakup.

So, what can you do about it?

First and foremost, you need to learn how to enjoy your own company. Be by yourself for a day and try to find pleasure in being alone. Learn to be at peace without other people surrounding you.

After that, you’ll have a deeper feeling of fulfillment which is going to benefit you in the long run. And this will help you choose a more suitable partner. So, instead of choosing someone because you are simply desperate for it, you’ll choose that particular person who you think is going to add more flavour to your life and make it better.

Customise it – Make it your own

Breaks And Breakers

This part of the article concerns the “specific standards” you have made for your supposed-to-be prince charming or dream girl.

Maybe, that set of standards has narrowed the possibility of finding the right person to a 1 in a million chance. You would be more likely to get hit by a car. Or struck by lighting even.

The thing with those standards of yours is that they aim higher than you think. Finding a neurosurgeon who plays football and love to watch Star Wars while doing push-ups while talking to you on the phone at the same time, may not be the right search filter to use if you want to find someone worthy.

Most of the time, you’ll either end up rejecting every single person that comes your way because of the “breaks” you selected. Or, you will simply break-up with them after ten minutes because of the standards you have set.

Now, you might be saying, “But, it doesn’t make sense. What does this have to do with falling for the wrong person?”

Well, things start getting interesting when you begin to lose hope about the existence of this particular imaginary person you are looking for. So, you decide then to settle for someone “less than perfect”. Since the results are not showing as fast as you expected (you are still single and searching) you start losing your patience.

So, you consider downloading the “tinder” app and you start looking for people nearby who may fit you. Until you receive that one notification that tells you that there is someone who is interested in you.

But, both you and I know that this person is on tinder for a reason. And very often, you will see that finding true love is not one of them.

So, what you need to do is to become more realistic. Be real for a second and accept the fact that no one is perfect, not even you. Learn to accept people as they are.

If you raise your standards to such a high level that no real human being can reach it, you may remain forever single and searching. Share on X Or as mentioned before, you might get impatient settle with the wrong person out of desperation.

Customise it – Make it your own

Changing The Person

This one is a bit tricky. So, trust me when I tell you that you have come to the right person to seek advice from concerning this point. Because now, I will start talking from my own experience.

Some people have the idea that they can date whoever they want. Believing that they can make the other person into their ideal partner. They think that they can get them to stop taking drugs or drinking just because they now have someone to care about and that cares about them.

Believing that you can change the person you have just started to date is an amazing way to look at a relationship and give it a chance to blossom a bit. Love can bring out the best in people and often does. 

The problem arises when you try to change the other person to suit you and not because you genuinely care. 

Why?

Because the purpose of relationships is to find someone who will care about you. Make YOU a better person, add more meaning to your life and give you an additional reason to live. Not the complete opposite.

This is why choosing a person, while hoping to change them from the very beginning, is not a good step to take.

Not only does it mean that you are not ready to accept them. It also makes the chances of breaking up that much higher. Because the inner ‘you’ has already admitted that they are not what you were looking for. Which means that you are unconsciously trying to settle with the wrong person.

And if you believe that by committing to them and trying to change them, you will have a positive impact on your relationship, then I think they should be willing to accept this change too. If not, then the message you are giving them is that “you are not acceptable as you are”.

This is not something you want to hear from the person you are trying to have a relationship with.

Relationships are not linear. Committing to change your partner just because you love them may not come in your favour all the time. This is why you need to know when to let go.

Acceptance and allowance are two key elements that will save you a great deal of time and energy by giving a chance for the right person to come.

Blindly sticking to the “wrong” person with the hope of changing them will only make you feel desperate about the whole thing. And, you may risk losing the right soulmate because of loyalty to the first. Share on X

Conclusion

Falling for the wrong person is not as bad as you think. Everyone makes mistakes, and this is something completely normal and part of being human.

It only turns bad when you keep choosing the wrong partner repeatedly, follow a deceitful illusion and refuse to learn from your mistakes.

Bear in mind that the list is not limited to the above points. But what I have shown you are some of the most important reasons why you keep choosing Mr/Ms Wrong instead of your soulmate.​